i am a peanut

...if i am what i eat, that is. it's kind of ridiculous how people here have picked up on my food kicks, but i seriously think no one has ever received so many peanuts, so frequently, as i have during my time up here in washington dc. honey roasted, salted extra large virginia, unsalted, dry roasted, shelled...it's awesome. but i'm beginning to get concerned that i will become sick from excessive peanut exposure. "surely not," you say, "i've never heard of such a thing!" well believe me, you've never met a person who consumes so many as i.

so yes, i got peanuts from two people for my birthday this past week, both of which are all gone now. the peanuts, that is--not the people who gave them to me. i haven't eaten them...yet. so this week was basically a break for all of us at camp because we had a whopping total of 7 kids show up. apparently, most kids stay home for national holidays, including all the boys who were supposed to be in my cabin, so i had another week off from cabin duty. so i got to sleep and read a lot more than usual, which was great considering we were mentally preparing for the dreaded week 4 coming up, which was supposed to include basically all of our really difficult campers from week 1 all over again. so i think we all thanked God for the gift of last week. it's funny, though, because even though we enjoyed the break, we realized how it's the kids who make camp fun. even when they are terrors at times, i still feel like my hardest group was my favorite group.

the kids this week were pretty great and we definitely did not seem to deal with the more difficult behavior issues of previous weeks. still, i am amazed at these kids' seemingly endless capacity for complaining. especially this week, because we spoiled those kids rotten. we had two birthdays--mine and camp director susie's--which both came with cake and ice cream. and we celebrated 4th of july by taking them to this carnival at a farm with inflatables, games, prizes, food and fireworks. i still had to ask God for patience and motivation, as they continually found things to whine about. i wish i could somehow record and play for you this sound that they all make whenever they're about to complain about something. it's like they're smacking their gums at the back of their mouth, around the molars, and sucking air in...i have come to despise it and think it's hilarious how they all do it. "(smack!) oh my GAAWUUHH!"

the most significant part of this past week for me, though, began on my birthday. the week before i had noticed myself getting really run down emotionally and spiritually and sensed that the more tired i grew, the more i became consumed with myself and my needs and became easily irritated with my teammates when i felt like things were unfair or like they weren't working as hard as me. so even though this week with 7 kids was way easy, i think all of us came into it thinking we would have a complete break and wouldn't have to really do anything, which of course was not the case and camp still had to be run as usual. so by tuesday it just seemed that a lot of us were trying to avoid doing things and irritated when others got to have a break. tuesday morning, for example, i internally was irritated that three people "got" to go into town to the doctor's office. the doctor's office...really? but for some reason i just wanted to get out, away. then that night i got to take a quick birthday ride into the city to do an errand at the church, and it's funny but i was so excited to get to do this. confinement in one place changes you, and the simplest things become a big deal, i guess. so on that trip i feel like the Lord used those 3 hours of getting away to reveal to me the condition of my heart and how self-consumed i had become--how unlike a servant i was acting. when we returned to camp i felt like God had begun a good work in me of renewing my spirit, which He is continuing to work with me on. He showed me words of truth about how my heart needed to be changed. In 1 Corinthians 9, Paul talks about not clinging to his rights as an apostle, but rather "we put up with anything rather than hinder the gospel of Christ." I needed to be reminded of my purpose for being here and how my attitude of seeking fairness, or even special treatment, for myself was taking precedence over my concern for the gospel and how it may have detrimental effects on my expressions of Christ's love toward the campers and other counselors. I was also drawn to consider the humility expressed in Philippians 2 and my need for a Christ-like attitude which is first concerned with serving the interests of others.

Please pray for this renewing work to be continued in my heart, and that it would also be done in my other teammates. I think I recognize some of the same things among our team. Pray that we would be one in spirit, love and purpose, and that we would be servants. I also ask that you pray for my cabin as we go into week 4. I am with older girls this week, which as of now includes one of the girls who was sent home the first week for threatening a counselor. From talking with her mother, we have heard that she has some serious anger issues. I would really like to build something with her this week, even if it is small but significant. I am learning yet again that I am not promised to always see fruit, but that it is God who faithfully grows seeds of faith. Pray that we can toss some seeds, that they fall on fertile soil.

also, before i go, i feel i must inform you that i have taken on yet another nickname. it is "lightning." finally, i have found in these kids people who appreciate how swift i am...feel free to use this title at your discretion. in addition, i don't think i have told you all, but during the second week one of the campers, without being prompted, called me a KITTY CAT! i had just scared the kids on the hay ride as the ghost of an 80's prom queen and jumped on the wagon when a guy asked me, and this is basically a direct quote, "would you like some milk, you little kitty cat?" ??!!?!! actually, that was after he asked me if i wanted any bananas, being a monkey and all. so yeah, we get some kind of strange kids, but i laughed a lot. and thought of kara. :)

i miss you all a ton. i really wished i could have been with you on my birthday to have some crazy pile-on game or flour fight. please know how much i cherish each of you and let me know what is going on with you. **i have a new email address, too--it's jennifer.wilmore@gmail.com. i'd love to hear from you!

/\/\/lightning/\/\/\/