what i got in my mama's closet

my cabin girls and me at the slip 'n slide. we're such posers.


this posting title is the name of a game the girls in my cabin loved and would play at every meal. so just the fact that we actually played games together and had fun at meals can testify to the great week that i had during week 4. it was not easy by any means. in fact, dealing with these kids and their tendency to break things, refuse to listen or do what we ask and fight made it possibly the hardest week, but i still absolutely loved these kids and they were my favorite group so far. so there's that emotional paradox again, where for some reason the more a group makes me want to pull my hair out, the more i really enjoy being with them.

so i had the oldest girls cabin this week, and overall things with my girls were pretty fabulous. i told you last week about one girl who had been sent home early week 1 and was in my cabin again this week. going into the week she was one i was praying for opportunities to befriend and show love to her especially. right away i started by sitting with her on the bus ride to camp, and we had a great conversation in which she talked to me alot about her anger issues, being kicked out of several schools, put in a home, now being in a juvenile detention-type school, and how she's taken up boxing (kind of scary...this girl's built). in this conversation i told her i wanted her to stay with me at camp all week this time and asked her not to do anything that would get her sent home, which she said she would. so things began well with her and i was relieved as i realized that she wasn't threatening me with any bodily harm and actually seemed to like me. i mean, i let her make fun of my squeaky voice and how i ate a hot dog bun with only ketchup and mustard because i don't like hot dogs, which all the girls thought was ridiculously funny for some reason. so we get through two days relatively painlessly, then during a game of capture the flag tuesday night i look over just in time to see her clock another girl in the jaw. my heart sank. after a lot of coaxing, i was able to get her away to the office where she was told she would have to go home again. she cried on the phone with her mother, and i was crying too out of frustration and disappointment. things soon escalated and turned into a long emotional night...long story short: she stormed out, cussing at me about how i didn't care for her, saying repeatedly that she was going to kill herself before her mom had a chance to beat her for being sent home. i told her repeatedly how much i did care for her and was so disappointed that she had to leave, then we had to report what she had said to my supervisor at church and decided she should stay at camp that night to avoid putting her in a dangerous spot at home and let her mother's anger diffuse. i don't have space or energy here to tell all that happened that long night with this girl, but i believe God used that difficult situation as a way for me to very clearly show her love and that by not taking her home until the next evening, we genuinely cared for her and were not just wanting to get rid of her. we parted well. i told her i loved her as she left and am glad to know that our relationship was not soured by that night, but was probably strengthened. i have this feeling that that will not be the last time i see her.

whew! so that was the big event this week. the rest of the week was really wonderful with the rest of the kids, especially my girls. the majority were returning for the second time this summer, so we already had built relationships and trust among most kids. one of the returning campers was a boy from my cabin during week 1--i think i told you about him. i left week 1 wanting more time with him because i could see great potential in him, if he could get past his attitude and anger issues. and this week i had the joy of seeing a big change in this guy, as he suddenly became not only agreeable, but so helpful. he helped me encourage a boy the other kids constantly picked on for his size and offered words i never could, he never had an attitidue with me again, he volunteered to help with small tasks and coached kids on the climbing wall. in this ministry where i am learning that i may not get to see any fruits of this work, this progress in one of my campers was a great encouragement to me, as i hope it reflects a lasting change being done in his heart and soul. please pray that the Lord would use whatever seeds of love rooted in faith that we are scattering here this summer, that He would masterfully plant and grow them in these precious kids.

other fun tid bits from this week: the "hey pretty girl" camper was back this week and one of the first things she said to me was how pretty my eyebrows are - a compliment which i thanked her kindly for and quickly suppressed a cry of fear and anguish. i also had my hair corn rowed for the first time by one of my girls and was told that i looked like a boy, was told that i needed to go read a slang book so i could actually understand what the kids were saying, braved my fear of fish by holding a huge nasty sucker fish, and received 3 kisses on the cheek on the last day from the same sweet camper.


kristen with that nasty old fish who ended up with a hardcore lip ring because we couldn't get the hook out of his mouth.

so now i am up way too late again but thank you for reading this ridiculously long post again (here i am assuming that people are still reading this thing at all...). this coming week i have the youngest boys cabin. pray for patience. i must sleep now. thank you for caring, thank you for sharing, thank you for ... daring?