Jekyll and Hyde?

I could really use a warm cup of something like this right now.

If I had a dollar for every time I've thought, "This place is freeeeezing!," I wouldn't need to be looking so earnestly for a job right now.  I still can't quite get over the shock of going from the pleasant warmth of Uganda to the chilly temperatures we're getting here - and I'm only in Alabama!  Forget culture shock; we're talking about some serious cold weather consternation here.

Since I got back, lots of people have been asking me if I'm experiencing culture shock, and "I don't know" is certainly not the response they probably expected.  But it's sort of true - I feel like I'm not so much in a crisis of cultures as a crisis of lives.  It's like I have two lives now: one here in the States and one back in Uganda.  

Have you ever moved away - maybe for college - and then had someone from your old home come visit your new place?  It feels like two worlds colliding.  That's sort of what I'm talking about, except in this case my two worlds are so far removed that they really do seem to be worlds apart.

I am so very glad to be home and to see the people I love here, and it's been surprisingly easy to fall back into life here.  In some ways.  I'm also keenly aware that I have been forever changed during the past year of my life, and while I can still carry on great relationships with people here, there is another part of me that knows life apart from here.  

This is all a bit difficult to articulate, so please bear with me.  What I'm trying to say is that I think I simultaneously feel at home and not at home.  And I think that's ok.  After all, we weren't meant to really be at home here, right?

Some good news: I still get to be connected to my life in Uganda through Refuge & Hope.  I'm still doing some part-time work for R&H for the time being.  And while I'm not certain how long I'll be able to continue working with them, I'm so grateful for the opportunity to dip into both of my lives - to be both here and there, in a sense.