to be in love

thursday. september 4, 2008. paris, france.

there are times in life when i think, "this must be what it's like to be in love." i have no idea what it is like to be in love. i have no idea if i am anywhere close, but i think this is the closest thing i have to go on for now.

i'm sitting here directly beneath the eiffel tower, so naturally i find myself writing about love. it's strange, the sensation i get just from seeing this big hunk of steel. how can something like that move you?

speaking of love, i guess it would be appropriate that i get kissed right here in front of one of the world's famous symbols of romance. his name is jean luis, and he kissed both of my cheeks with a loud "muah!" it was certainly not love by any stretch of the imagination, but he was nice. said i had a spanish accent and that i was a nice american. i am glad for encounters like that.

that is not what made me think of being in love, though. that happened just by walking down the street - feigning a sense of belonging by wearing a black pencil skirt and heels - and coming in front of this lovely thing, just leisurely as if it were any old thing. "how am i so blessed?" i ask God and myself.

i do hope it's not a sign of my vanity, that i fancy myself to be some character in a nostalgic film. if it is true, then i hope it's not really vanity but rather a celebration of imagination.

my cup, it overflows.

it is cold today. the sky is overcast and passers-by try to snatch back their jackets and scarves from the gusty breeze. how do so many of them simply pass through without pausing to feel the weight above them? perhaps they are not so sentimental and foolish. perhaps they think there will be other days, other breezy afternoons. as for me, i never really believed i would see this with my own eyes. i want to soak it in.

but it is cold, and i really must go.

this i wrote when i was in paris for a conference in early september.